I'm old enough to remember the days before both the internet and social media, and while I enjoy the former, I am growing more disillusioned with the latter.
So much so, in fact, that when my brother announced his intention to quit Facebook at the end of the month, I was both highly jealous and highly cynical of his decision.
I also wasn't a big fan of how that felt, because the first big question I asked myself was, "Why the hell can't I do that?"
I'd like to think I'm no different than anyone else in having been drawn into the world of social media when Facebook exploded a few years ago. After all, it was cool. We got to connect with one another in a way previously delegated to more archaic means like Trillian or YahooChat or even AOL (remember those days of yore?!) MySpace even seemed like cuneiform by comparison to what Facebook has become, but in the last few years, there's also seemed to be a growing and previously unforeseen drawback.
Facebook, and all other "social" or "public" media, is a black hole.
I never really "got" Twitter, though as a journalist, I understand its benefits as a news-generating mechanism. But a few years ago, my best college friend introduced me to another public media website that's basically Twitter for introverts. At first, I liked it a lot because it was a secluded place for me to get all the random, nagging things in my head out. Seemed simple enough, putting those things away in little boxes so I didn't have to either think about or look at them anymore.
It turned out to be a complete disaster, because what I didn't realize then and ultimately discovered too late, was that such places are breeding grounds for disinformation, misconceptions, presumptions, and assumptions and was a significant factor in my relationship with that same friend completely disintegrating for the better part of two years.
Why? Because instead of actually being human beings and talking to one another about the things we needed to discuss, I felt it was easier to just take those things and dump them somewhere. Out of sight, out of mind, and it ended up taking her out of my life because I saw the things she'd post and a solid 80-90% of the time, I drew the completely wrong conclusion.
Now don't mistake me, I understand the value of social media. It connects us no matter where we are in the world and that is not a bad thing. The bad thing is when it becomes a replacement for the aspect of our lives it sought to enhance: Communication.
When the world was pre-internet, if I wanted to talk to someone, I either picked up my phone or I actually got in the same room and we talked. Even in the early days of email, if some form of correspondence was needed, I had time to sit down, think about what I wanted to say, and construct a letter that reflected those things. It wasn't such a rapid-fire transition of discourse without having time to really process what the other person was actually saying.
Chats, I have found, are also lacking in emotion. In order to convey that I'm not being snarky or offended by a comment, I have to attach an emoticon to pretty much everything I post these days. To me, it's actually simpler to actually converse with another person so we can both process our emotional tones and inflections by the words we say and how we say them. Sure it might be antiquated by modern standards, but the old ways aren't always the worst ways.
You may think it's hyperbole for me to call it a black hole, but it doesn't change the fact that Facebook especially, is a ginormous gravity well of a time sink.
If someone were to do an analysis of how much I've truly wasted on Facebook and other social media, playing games, digesting other peoples' posts, waiting for someone to show up so I can chat (as opposed to just going to see them or calling them), or worst of all, being both bitterly envious and living vicariously through the lives of the friends I was linked to, I think it would far surpass even my own lofty estimates.
"Why go out and live my own damn live when I can sit in my apartment and just watch everyone else do it for me?!" I decided.
The time I spent online was hours upon hours I could've been invested in getting my books done, learning new things, seeing new things, meeting people, exercising, traveling, enjoying my passions, and most importantly, healing and otherwise being a part of the human race again.
I retreated into Facebook and social media because it provided an escape from reality. And now I need to escape from it because reality is more vital to my long-term survival.
So does that mean I'm shutting my Facebook page down and quitting cold turkey? No. As a journalist, being plugged in is part of my job description going forward, like it or not. I also have people that I won't be able to contact without it, so in that respect, I don't see it as a drawback.
What it does mean though is that I am going to start limiting my access time so I can get onto more constructive things. I won't be online as much as I used to and trust me, it's for the best. Facebook won't write my books for me. I can and will post pictures from time to time, but I want to be the person to take them, not see someone else do it and then be jealous of them for doing so.
The thing about getting out of orbit is it can't be done without achieving the necessary escape velocity first. I've been rotating around this thing long enough that my momentum should be strong enough.
Time for me to get back out into the cosmos and do some stargazing.
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