One of the biggest and most valid complaints I think could be made about me and how my life has gone to this point is this.
I am very good at attracting and generating drama.
Now if I were a writer on par with a guy like Aaron Sorkin, I could take said drama, put it in witty script form, and in theory, live quite well on the hog for the rest of my natural days.
Since that avenue remains closed for the time being however, I prefer to do what is actually a simpler thing:
Get as much of it out of my life as possible.
I think one of the biggest stumbling blocks we have when it comes to our evolution as people is we get introduced to drama about the time we reach high school, then we become used to it, then we thrive off it, then we create our own. The perpetuating cycle continues until we're adults and more often than not, we don't even realize what we've created.
What I created over the last 25 years or so was a field around myself that attracted and generated useless drama like Jupiter sucks up passing comets and asteroids.
And as I write this, I feel stupid going back to this, but it's similar to the realization of how passive-aggressive I've been during that same span. From my vantage point in the center of it, I didn't know. It didn't feel weird or out of place to me. Being knee-deep in drama was what I've known since I was about 14 years-old.
It made me feel important. Like I was being useful to people and gave people a reason to be concerned about me. That is until they got quite understandably tired of it and said "No mas."
Not that I ever plan on going to Jupiter anytime soon (though I've always wanted to, I won't lie), but I would imagine somewhere on that amazing planet, amidst the storms and gas, there is a pocket where things are pretty tolerable. That's where I resided in my own dramatic field.
But here's the problem. The BIG problem. Drama is exhausting, it's stupid and it's pointless. It's one thing to have a friend or someone you care about who's dealing with a serious issue and they need help. You help them deal with it, pick them up, brush them off, and you collectively move on to happier things. Happens all the time and that's how it should work.
There are people in the world however, who once that obstacle has been cleared, whether they realize it or not, they go out of their way to find (or sometimes create) a new one, then go back to the same people and proclaim their sky is once again falling.
I don't like to admit I've been one of those people for a LOOONG time, but I am. I will also admit that while I bear a degree of responsibility, my mistake was also in associating with those who created strong dramatic fields of their own, and we all just happened to gravitate to one another. When drama is all you know and what you feed off of, it is very easy to forget there's also comedy, music, action, adventure and the fantastical out in the world too.
You just have to be willing to change the channel.
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