Doctor Who is fifty. 5-0.
I was six years-old when I discovered this odd little kid's show on WGBH in Boston back in 1983. I stumbled onto it the way many of us do with TV now, by flipping channels.
*Editorial Note: Except in 1983, I actually was flipping channels on an old 14" black-and-white TV with rotary dials. That's where the term came from, kids. That's how we rolled back in the 20th Century.
I caught the last two minutes of the third episode of a story called The Sunmakers, which saw The Doctor's companion, Leela, facing execution via being cooked in a massive oven.
In all honesty, writing that sentence makes me laugh at the sheer absurdity of it. But to a small, impressionable and emotionally sensitive kid, I am not joking in that it both scared the heck out of me and also guaranteed I'd be back at 7:30 the next night to see if she got out.
Such is the magic of this saga about a Time Lord and his beloved blue Police Box.
Ask any Doctor Who fan and they will be able to tell you which of the eleven (soon to be twelve) incarnations of The Doctor they feel they relate to the most. For myself, I think I was too young to have that connection with the past versions of him when the series ran from 1963-1989. So when they brought it back in 2005, I was kind of surprised to become so attached to this one.
The Tenth Doctor.
I admit now it's an odd thing to say because at first I didn't like him all that much. Given how much I really liked Christopher Eccelston's Ninth Doctor, seeing this new guy David Tennant just come in after a year and be a whole new version was off-putting for me. He seemed too geeky, too hipster and I thought Well...was fun while it lasted.
But what I quickly discovered was that both Tennant and the writers had made this Doctor very layered. Whereas his predecessor was still incredibly shell-shocked by the events leading back into the new series, this one was a little more detached from them. He was also better at hiding the turmoil and anger he felt underneath the smiling, laid-back exterior, but when he had to let it out, it could be quite chilling to witness.
This Doctor had a rule. No second chances. I loved that about him because I could relate so much to it, given where I was in my own views of things at the time. That doesn't mean he didn't care, though. In many ways, he cared too much, especially when it came to the companions who traveled with him. At first, the Tenth Doctor loved having someone along with him for the ride, but as time went on and he saw the impact of what his life had on other people, he became more withdrawn, putting everyone at arm's length because he honestly felt he had to.
The writers deserve a lot of credit for shaping him into the Doctor who connects most with me and they gave him a great, and for me, emotionally stirring moment at the end of one story when he's asked why he feels so alone despite having had so many amazing people with him in his life.
"They leave," The Doctor says. "Because they should or they find someone better. And some...forget me. In the end, I suppose...they break my heart."
I watched that episode at a time where I felt so alone and trying to figure out why. I'm not the kind of person who gets all that choked up watching a movie or even a TV show, but in that moment, I was like FINALLY! Somebody gets it and they said it a hell of better than I ever probably could.
Which brings me to what is easily my favorite story I've ever seen in Doctor Who. The Waters of Mars.
I love this story so much for one simple reason. The Doctor finally casts aside his moral code and does what he wants because he is so tired of watching good people get hurt. He gets righteously angry and by doing so, thinks he's won far more than he actually has, because damn the rules. All they've ever gotten him is things he couldn't change and losing everyone he ever cared about. So he makes his own, and the consequences are far more disastrous than he could've ever imagined.
There have been so many times I've wanted to do the same damn thing, because you eventually realize that the world around you doesn't always play by the supposed "rules". That morality and ethics only go so far and that to really achieve what you want, they can be disregarded and you just take what you want by any means necessary. Except if you do, you run the risk of losing who you are. It's a hard lesson to learn and I think this story tells it better than any I could've written.
This is going to sound so incredibly silly, but it's true. The reason why this will always be my Doctor is because I understood him. I related to him. I saw the things he struggled with and instinctively and emotionally empathized with him on a level I never really have with any other fictional character because so much of what he went through mirrored my own struggles (albeit on a much more fantastical scale).
Having relationships with people you care so much about and then losing them, feeling isolated because of that, overcoming mistakes and trying so hard to right them, self-doubt, the values and perils of a moral code, and you keep going, clinging to life with a white-knuckled grip, hoping the world is left in a better place because you were in it.
All these things defined the Tenth Doctor. It's why he'll always be my favorite.
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