*Editorial Note - Given the amount of muckraking gobbledy-gook I overindulgently sling at my own wall in the hopes people will peruse it, I guess it's only fair that I respond in kind.
The article is called, "Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore," and was written by someone named Paul, which establishes with reasonable assumption that he is, at least, a male.
His thesis was that the days of men being "real" men are long gone, a product of a bygone era in which men wore three-piece suits, drove nice cars, did not seek instant gratification and were bound to a somewhat higher moral code of ethics and respect which is now seemingly extinct in the modern Information Age.
He goes onto imply that men have become both soft and weak as the century has progressed and that with rare exception, we view the opposite sex as a disposable pleasure rather than a meaningful pursuit.
"If you don't have the twiddle-diddles to approach a woman at a bar and have a proper, intellectual conversation, making the woman feel comfortable, then move over for the 'real' men," says Paul.
Now, I don't know Paul. According to his bio, he lives in Manhattan and touts himself as a "young writer, philosopher, music producer and DJ."
He's also a complete fucking idiot who couldn't pick a "real" man out of a lineup.
I am the first to admit that I likely don't fit the model of a "real" man any more than Paul probably does. After all, I am a hyperempathic, socially awkward, introverted, stubborn, impatient cro-magnon of a man who hasn't been on a date in three years. Lothario or Casanova, I certainly am not.
But what I also possess is an exceedingly strong moral compass that allows me to treat women, especially women I care about, with both dignity and respect. I can be trusted because my goal is not to conquer them or hang them on a wall as some sort of trophy and I learned that by watching supposed "real" men treat the women they professed to love like complete crap right in front of me.
When I was a kid, all I wanted to be was Superman. Why? Because Superman not only can do everything, but because for all his strength and speed, at his heart, he was more decent, moral and honorable than any man I ever knew tried to be. It was his character that made Clark Kent be Superman, not his power.
Clinging to bygone ideas of what "real" men were defined as is stupid, because you cannot cram an entire gender of complex beings into one box and slap a label on it saying "real" or "fake". We all come from different backgrounds, disciplines, geographies and experiences and those things, as well as our own morality and treatment of others, ultimately decides what kind of man we'll be.
We are defined by who we allow ourselves to be and who we ultimately try to be, man or woman. I don't dress in three-piece suits, drive a fancy car, and I sure don't live in a mansion. I am also not Superman, no matter how much I still wish I could be. Hell, I might not even qualify as a "real" man by most social opinions.
But I am a man and I know who I want to be and both how I want to treat the people who matter to me, and the people who's paths I have yet to cross in this life.
With respect, dignity, and honor. That is plenty "real" enough.
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