Out of My League

When I was 18 and trying to figure out what I was going to do with my future, like most young American men, the idea of joining the military wasn't out of the question.

My personal preference had been to go into the Air Force because I'd always wanted to be a pilot, and in going to the local recruiting office, their slogan was literally plastered everywhere when you walked in.

"Aim High"

As kids, we're often told that the sky's the limit, to strive for excellence and not settle for mediocrity in anything. But as I grew up, I learned that there exists different strata to which we all fall into based in no small part on things we often can't control, like where we're from, who our parents are, our financial and social standing, etc., just as much as things we can like intelligence, charisma or appearance.

I've never been happy with my place down in the lower strata of the social hierarchy for a myriad of reasons but primarily centered around the notion that I could surpass the limitations of where I came from and where I seemed to be confined to. I've never been all that popular a guy and seeing the stratas become more codified around me, I kept trying to move up by associating with people who might have led me to the levels I wanted to reside in.

When it came time for me to consider dating and pursuing relationships, I also learned that no matter how optimistic I try to be, there is a simple reality that is difficult but necessary to accept.

I've always been attracted to women who are WAY out of my league.

It started in middle school, to be honest, and I don't really know why it became my particular trend in life. In hindsight, I know it also cost me a chance to have relationships with women in my own strata who probably possessed the same qualities of the woman I was interested in at the time. It certainly wasn't their fault that I wasn't paying attention, either, and along the way, they would often try to remind me that I was essentially chasing a pipe dream because the odds of actually achieving the desired goal were slim to none.

I didn't care then and I especially don't care now.

I don't think I'm wrong for daring to be in a relationship with a woman who challenges me to move beyond what I've been. If anything, it doesn't make me stale or complacent and provides me an opportunity to continue to evolve. I'd also like to think that it could give her a chance to be with someone who is not willing to rest on whatever laurels I have and willing to be respectful of where they're coming from, while also bringing whatever attributes living in my strata gave me.

We all aim higher for things we want but might not otherwise have if we didn't dare try to reach for in the first place.

Besides, I may be out of their league, but that doesn't mean their out of mine.